洛熙

当你在最伤心的时候，最需要的就是最对的人在身旁。

当那人不在了，也许就抱着他送过的礼物吧。

若连礼物也没有，那就看从前的照片吧。

如果连张照片也没有，那只有听着他对你唱过的歌曲，

留着泪睡着。

然而，我就是一个那么孤独的人。

而你，就是一个那么残忍的人。

The disappointment is truly beyond my capability. I won't cheat myself. At the end, after all my hard work, I am just not good enough. I do not expect people to understand, but how I wish people that I love (not bf's love, I'm single btw) can stay beside me, so that I can have a shoulder to cry on. I'm tired of being all by my own every time this kind of thing strike me. Really tired.

Crabb Island

Well, this is the first time I blog with photos. Okay, I should start my post by a view from Pulau Ketam!!! I got comments from friends like :" Oh, you went to pulau 2 weeks ago? Is the scenery beautiful?" Fyi, Pulau Ketam is well-known for it's fresh seafood and people are going there for the scrumptious seafood. It was an sudden suggestion from my aunt for the one day trip. Woke up in 7 a.m RELUCTANTLY, after bathe and breakfast, we went to Klang by car, searching for the jetty which head to Pulau Ketam. Oh yeah, we do not know about the transport to reach the island at all!! We just started out journey in blur and asked directions from people in Klang. Fortunately, we found our way to the jetty which head to Pulau Ketam. After an half an hour waiting, the ship arrived and HERE WE GO!!

In the ship!!

The ship is actually not very big, but it is air-conditioned. The seats are just okay, not very comfy and not very shabby either. However, what makes me cry is the 80-ties chinese songs that were played in a not very small volume :( The journey took about 45 min to reach Pulau Ketam. During the time, my uncle befriended with a woman who sat in front of him. Rupa-rupanya, she is a regular visitor to the island and knew the best seafood restaurant in P.K (According to her :)) Delightfully, we followed her to the restaurant as soon as we reached the island.

P.K is actually a very very small island. There are no roads, no cars, just heaps of bicycles. The only transportation there is bicycles. So despite of cars and motorcycles, there are bicycles in every front of every house there. Here are some photos of Pulau Ketam :D

Road in Pulau Ketam. See, no room for cars!!

Instead of car, bicycle is their one and only transportation :)

Magnum in pulau ketam!! I found this photo quite artistic. Right huh?

.

The only bank in P.K---Maybank

The most humorous uncle ever!!

waterlili :D

My bad for not taking any photos of the scrumptious, perhaps the best seafood that I ever had in my life!!. Well, when the food arrived, can you still hold back your saliva that drool in your mouth? Without your realization, your spoon and fork will involuntarily move over the dishes~ When the thought of taking photos of the dishes crossed my mind again, whats left were the fish bones, shells of prawns and crabs. You can actually taste the freshness and the sweetness of seafood!! I am actually allergic with processed seafood, meaning self-reproduced seafood which rare by fishermen who feed them with processed food so that they can grow big in size in a short period. Well, as all the seafood were so fresh, I did not face any allergy at all!!!!! It's been so long since I had seafood without the implications of the allergy! I strongly recommend their steam seafood, in a way that you can taste the freshness of the seafood !!!! Bashiketa~ Oishidese!!!We ordered quite a number of dishes, anyway, the price of the meal were surprisingly cheap!! Can't remember the figure but I rmb we were jaw-dropped when the lou-pan-niong mentioned the price. You can never get the price in any restaurant in KL.

More shots :

Mua~

Found my dad's restaurant there!! And we ended up having 'high tea' there. Kononnya~

But some part of the island are quite unhygienic :(

Just-caught fresh fishes!!

Magnum Bros. Different by appearance, but trust me, they are so identical in so many ways.

yiyi-er ke-lili-me , waiting for our mum buying dried seafood.

When the sun was slowly declining from the horizon, it's time to go back. How we wished we could have our dinner there too, but the last ship bec to Klang jetty is 5.45p.m. Chai ge (byeybe in korean) Pulau Ketam !!!!!

While waiting for the ship in the jetty.

Uncle and Aunt in the ship heading back :)

I'll come again for sure Pulau Ketam!!! For those seafood-lovers who are interested in going can contact me for more info lo. Oh damn, thinking about those seafood makes saliva pooling in my mouth again!!!!!!!!!!

I Have Zero Knowledge in IT Stuff

Seriously. Seriously. SERIOUSLY!!!!!

I had spent my 2 hours time, figuring up how to change my designs of my blog, all the gadgets and stuff. I've tried to insert some photos and captions, somehow, they appeared differently and look so weird!! I bet kids nowadays, with the over-exposure in technology can teach me in this kind of stuff :( ...............

My friends, especially my dear sista, always nags me in being so dumb when come across some IT stuff like computer, cell phone, camera.........especially all those touch-screen gadgets!!!!!!!! I admit that I'm wayyyyyy toooooo nooooob in all these!!

Well, if you're reading this poryingying, fyi, I really did not know how to insert songs from pc into my hp or vica-versa in my entire secondary school life :)

It's good to know that there are people who read by blogs :)

At first I do not tell everyone that I am having one, so I write every thoughts of mine and also shares my problems, or sometimes, or most of the time, blaming on all the unfortunate events that I had. Haha...Well, I do need a place to shout it out right. Muahaha..

After some thinking, I think my blog is the perfect place to voice something. The stuff that I posted, I will not normally discuss with everyone, I can't stand it, like being defeated or something like that. For close friends of mine, if you have read and know that I'm in blues, please phone me up as maybe I really need to talk to someone. But DON'T, PLEASE DON'T make fun of it na...haha..

For others, I seriously do not think anyone who is not close with me even bother to read blogs of mine. I mean it's not interesting at all. It has no photos, no fancy decorations, no interesting events, just an always-blaming-on-stuff girl's blog. You can laugh or maybe disagree on what I say but as long as I can't hear you, that's okay for me.

Lastly, I miss my friends out there, yo people, please phone me, text me, or write on my walls in fb as I'm officially rotting in my house currently. Miss the good time, and the bad too, and I miss studying so badly. Miss you baby sista.

Finger cross, hope everyone that I miss and love are doing fine and unlike me, are enjoying LIFE :)

Got Cha sootohjiawen!!

My blog is always my sanctuary when I am facing any of my dilemmas in my life. A friend of mine told me that I always worry about things. Well, we all do the same right. A smooth sailing life isn't a life. But mine is pretty rocky sometimes.

Yea, my last blog is about the bla bla feelings when my STPM results were going to be released. However, my results is not bad (that's what I told others). Okay, let's don't lie, it does not reach my target, and I'm pretty disappointed. Getting a cgpa of 3.67 in STPM is actually the same as getting 3.33 or 3.5. You are just not elite anymore. It dampen my spirit as Pharmacy is my first choice of my courses for a degree. Little do I know that why it seems like every science students in Malaysia determine to be a Pharmacy like I do. So as ppl are mushrooming for it, the more competitive it become.

Now, there are some people that ask me why did I study Form 6. My very first aim

------->PURSUE MY DEGREE IN SINGAPORE!!! Study in Singapore is always my dream. Okay, let's don't lie again. Study abroad is always my dream. I am superficial maybe, but you can say that I dream high :)

The email that I received the days before torn me apart. A rejection letter from NTU saying my application my admission into NTU is unsuccessful. I applied to 2 universities, NTU and NUS. So I only have half a probability to realise my dream. It's not that I do not want to study in local universities or I look down on the level of education, but I need a different surrounding, a campus with English. Get what I mean? NUS, you're my only hope right now. PLEASE, ACCEPT MY APPLICATION. I'M DYING TO BE A STUDENT OF YOURS!!

To be frank, I want to become a pharmacist right now. I do not know why, but the urge of becoming one have been mounting few months ago. I can see my future in becoming one. Honestly, the last thing I want about my tertiary education is to spend huge sums of my parents hard-earned money on my education. I just can't take it. But it seems like I have no choice but to find another option if everything fails-----private universities.

I hate myself when I'm surfing about info for pharmacy courses in those money sucking universities.

I even hate myself when I confess to my parents that I have the thought of studying in private Uni for pharm.

I want to punch myself when I'm comparing the prices of the Unis. I want to slap myself, scold every four-letter word that I can think of,

To myself, for being so useless, for being so over-confident, that I can make everything right, that I am a straight-A student that Singapore Unis will accept me.

Ping reminded me that one of the girl that I have teased before, she got a hell better grade than me. Life serve me right. I deserve this. I deserve this failure after all. A true punishment for my over-over confident.

I used to promise my parents what I will give them when I'm working. A better house, I used to say to my dad to change the red car when I got a scholarship. Hello jiawen, wake up!! You can't even get the admission into Uni, leave alone scholarships okay!! How can I still keep my promise when I can't even guarantee a place in Uni, a bright future of mine?

Finger-crossed, hope that God will show mercy and give me what I've worked and prayed so hard for.

N E R V O U S

Nervous can't actually explain my feelings right now.

What's going to happen this coming Monday? It's the day after tomorrow.

Will I cry? Tears of happiness or dismals?

Surely, I want to scream my lungs out, shouting like a mad man, jumping up and down, thanking all my teachers, sharing my joy with all my friends, and tell myself :" You finally did it jiawen :) "

Not to forget grabbing Mr Hapidin, for a photo for the local tabloid. As what I've promised him.

All my hard-work, will it get paid off? Endless of uncertainties are rooming me right now. And I don't even want to spare a moment to think about me getting the unwanted results.

Should I put on my best clothes, to get prepared to stand in front of the reporters' camera? Like I used to? It's not that I'm ego, confident or whatever. It's indeed my true feelings. Throughout my schooling years, all these years, I never let my parents down, I hit my own expectation. I'm a straight-A student. Yes, I can said that proudly. I never get a B in my UPSR, PMR and SPM. What about STPM??? I don't want a B to appear in my certificates this Monday. However, deep down I know somehow 2 subjects are going to let me down. I know I did not do well in these 2 subjects. But I seriously cannot bear with that results. I cannot take it. Puzzled. Dilemma.

I've studied so hard even I'm impressed with myself. I once tell myself that no matter how the results to be, I have no regrets. Anyhow, even there's no regrets, believe me, if i get the unwanted results, I'll still blame myself, probably slapping myself. Well, I'm quite emotional sometimes.

On the bright side, keep telling myself that it's worth it, all the hard-work will get paid.

I'm gonna smile brightly, hug my parents and see the triumph look of my parents, especially my mom, whose eyes will beam with pride. Well, I've seen that for 3 times. Let me see that again will you mom? My friends and I will congratulating each other non-stop, thanking our teachers. Phoning my close friends who are studying in other states, mostly Malacca and KL, telling them about my results. Not to forget my relatives too. Come back home, post it on Facebook, and start applying for Uni applications and available scholarships.

Finger-crossed, crossed, CROSSED, let it happen to me please :)