N E R V O U S

Nervous can't actually explain my feelings right now.

What's going to happen this coming Monday? It's the day after tomorrow.

Will I cry? Tears of happiness or dismals?

Surely, I want to scream my lungs out, shouting like a mad man, jumping up and down, thanking all my teachers, sharing my joy with all my friends, and tell myself :" You finally did it jiawen :) "

Not to forget grabbing Mr Hapidin, for a photo for the local tabloid. As what I've promised him.

All my hard-work, will it get paid off? Endless of uncertainties are rooming me right now. And I don't even want to spare a moment to think about me getting the unwanted results.

Should I put on my best clothes, to get prepared to stand in front of the reporters' camera? Like I used to? It's not that I'm ego, confident or whatever. It's indeed my true feelings. Throughout my schooling years, all these years, I never let my parents down, I hit my own expectation. I'm a straight-A student. Yes, I can said that proudly. I never get a B in my UPSR, PMR and SPM. What about STPM??? I don't want a B to appear in my certificates this Monday. However, deep down I know somehow 2 subjects are going to let me down. I know I did not do well in these 2 subjects. But I seriously cannot bear with that results. I cannot take it. Puzzled. Dilemma.

I've studied so hard even I'm impressed with myself. I once tell myself that no matter how the results to be, I have no regrets. Anyhow, even there's no regrets, believe me, if i get the unwanted results, I'll still blame myself, probably slapping myself. Well, I'm quite emotional sometimes.

On the bright side, keep telling myself that it's worth it, all the hard-work will get paid.

I'm gonna smile brightly, hug my parents and see the triumph look of my parents, especially my mom, whose eyes will beam with pride. Well, I've seen that for 3 times. Let me see that again will you mom? My friends and I will congratulating each other non-stop, thanking our teachers. Phoning my close friends who are studying in other states, mostly Malacca and KL, telling them about my results. Not to forget my relatives too. Come back home, post it on Facebook, and start applying for Uni applications and available scholarships.

Finger-crossed, crossed, CROSSED, let it happen to me please :)