Blanked

I've read a very inspiring book titled: The diary of a young girl : Anne Frank. I'll soon write a blog about that later on. In her diary, she named her diary 'Kitty' and made her diary very personal and lively. I love that. So, from now on, i will name mine 'fudgie' .

Dear fudgie:

(As my title goes) I'm so confused and puzzled nowadays. Many things and events happenned recently and i realised something. Somehow, i think differently from others. Is that a bad thing? It's like my objective of life, my thinking, my behaviour to some people are adsurb, ridiculous, unbelieveable and unconsiderate and wrong. I'm really frustrated because somehow i believe that i'm not wrong. After all the dramas in my life, i learn to be considerate, i learn to put myself in others shoes and think twice (or more than that) before i do or talk. The thing is, when i tihnk in route A, people think in route B. So when i done it by route A instead of B, people are sad, disappointed in me. I want to clear things but it's always not a good timing. Why is this happenning to me. Sometimes i want to shout out :"HEY, THIS IS WHAT I'M THINKIN!! GET IT?? STOP MISUNDERSTANDING ME!!"

Sometimes i tend to think, okay, this is me. This is my way of doing things and thinking. Is either you get it or not. If you know me well, you'll understand that i do not think in that way and i will not act that. If i really did something unpleasant, i'm not stupid and irrational. It must be for a reason. If you confront me, i will appreaciate it because this shows that you care. If you just let it die of like that, that's the end of the story. I'm being nice and considerate but somehow i do not know why people will interprate it as harsh and disappointing. So do you wish that everytime when i wanna be nice i'll utter it out loud? Latest example: When i'm talking to A, A seems tired and not in mood for talking. Immediately i sensed that and try to talk on another topic you'll be interest with. Oh, you're not. It seems like you are really not in mood. Naturally, i advised you to rest well so that we can have a nice conversation next time. HOWEVER, to A, i'm ....................you fill in the blank. And now, i'm totally blanked.