It's more than enough

Dear fudgie:

Fudgie, you're the only solace that i can only rely on. I have a terrible week. I'm not those teenagers that get moody or sad because of trivial issues. So many problems, spinning in my mind that make me feel dizzy. In fact i really start to have headsche nowadays, which i never had so frequent in my life. Peoples, letting me down. Study, never done within my scedule. Flu and cough, never leave me alone. What the heck!!

Is it me that ask too much from you? I do not know. I feel like shouting out loud right now, in the second minute, i feel in broking down and just curl myself in a corner. I miss my friends, i miss those understanding that i used to have. Everyday i talk like it's nobody business and laugh like nobody's there. However those things, those people won't leave me alone. They keep on repeating, like a vicious cycle.

I do not like the new me. I've tried to hold back myanger for so many times. Keep on telling myself not to burst out because it will only make things worst. I hate that. I feel like slapping myself everytime i did that. I feel like i'm a culprit, a loser, a weaker, which i'm definately not. This is the confidence that i've in myself. I do not care if anyone are discussing about me about this point, but i do care when people that i care did this. It's really more than enough. I'll stop being a loser and i will only care for things that i only care and care the hell for those who're not deserved.

I'm finger-crossed for lili, the most precious one that i care and love the most in the earth, that everything is going to be alright and problem-free. Whatever life throws at you, you know that you'll have me and my support :)