It's 1.17 a.m right now. Somehow, my eyes are getting sleepier but i know very well the moment that i lie on the bed, my mind will go wild and it wouldbe endless again. Jia Li is having her last spm paper tomorrow, chinese. Thinking about last year, i was probabaly in Japan last year at this time, at Kinan, Osaka with my host family. I truly had a wonderful time there.
Within a month, it will be another new year, 2010. I wonder how time can passed really, just like a blink of eye. Think back, what have i actually done this solid year? I'm 18 this year, this year suppose to be fun, to be memorable, to be insane. Like when i'm 80 and i can told my grandchildren that ' yea, granny used to have or do that when i'm 18'. But am i?
At the very beginning of this year, i had gone through a very hard time. My granny died on 21st Jan. When daddy told me that i'm needed to goto kl to take care of granny because she's hospitalised, i was so frantic and wished that i was there beside her immediately. yea, i still remember that clearly. Thank God that give me this chance to take care and spend time with her and i was beside her, accompanied her thru her final night in this world. Although all of us are in deep grive, but deep down i'm happy that she didn't have to suffer anymore. Thanks for xx who was always there for me at the very moment, and also my friends that supported me.
Then, it's Feb and i was getting my car licence at the time. I became kakak in my house. I take care of all the house work, i cooked meal and etc etc. I'm so useless at that time that there are actually times where i stared and listened to the cloak ticking. Imagine that.
March. I got my spm result. I was over the moon at the moment and excited to go to serve my national service. My time in ns was never a dull moment. Wonderful friendship had been forged there. Kai jeck, lichen, bikun, sin yee, a sek, bean yao, mei yun.....oo..i miss you guys so so much!! Even though sometimes it's tiring and felt like giving up,thanks to xx who never fails to keep me accompanied and also my parents who are so worried about me and try to make everything possible to make me more comfortable. Endless additional food supply. haha. Yup, i did did some insane stuff while i'm serving my ns..hahahaha..That's the happiest time in my life i believe.
After my ns, here comes the toughest decision. Form 6 versus A level. i had did so many research, listened to opinion, balancing all the pro and con of both parties and finally, i'm in white shirt and blue dress, appeared in smch again. Till now, i never regret that i've chosen form 6 as my choice. Everyday, my mind is fullly loaded with chem, bio and that bloody math. Same routine everyday, school, eat, tuition, study, sleep and 'puff'---HOLIDAY!! and my boredom started.
I went to kl to celebrate bear's birthday on 4 dec. It was a blast. All of us enjoyed ourselves so much and themost important is bear's happy with all the surprises and her birthday celebration. After came back to kb, i have to do my homework, do some revision thati hated the most but what to do, i wanna get good grades that enable me to study overseas after stpm. it's my dream and i have to wark hard. no short-cuts. haiz.....
2 more weeks and i'm going to Bangkok with uncle's family. I'm kind of excited for that trip as firstly da ke is going too and i can't recall when is the last time i talked to him, hopefully can have some good memories with him in that trip. Second, do i really have to mention about it? Bangkok is a paradise for shopping, are you kidding me? ?? Haha..
My eyes are heavier than ever right now. Again, i'm finger crossed, hope that jiali and jia yi will be alright for their chinese paper tomorrow and my Bangkok trip will be a blast. And i'll miracally find my lost math notes.
Sunday, December 13, 2009
Wednesday, December 2, 2009
Joy and Excitement
it's been a while since i updated my blog. To be honest, i completely forgotten my blog'd user name just now. I have to google myself. I started to suspect myself of getting short term memory.
Well, it's December. Last year when it approached December, I was overwhelmed with joy and excitement. Joy was that my SPM was over. We had our last paper, Account on 1st of dec if i'm not mistaken. Excitement is that i was going to Japan as a exchanged student on 3rd of Dec. Now, my sis are having the same trials and problems as i faced last year, but theirs are far more exciting. they are flood to worry about. I bet this would be a very good experience for them!! I still vividly remember when i had finished my account paper and waited the time to past and my SPM was finally over. That time, i thought that this was the very last time thati will appear in this school as a student in uniform. Well, who knows here i am, once again, as a form 6 student. i've taken the path to study form 6 and till now there's no turning back and i'm certainly not regret of the choice that i've made.
Excitement. The excitement that the Japan trip was simply AWESOME. I've actually learnt a lot of things there which cannot be explain verbally. It's that my perpective had changed and I know deep down, i have changed somehow, in a better way of course. And for sure, i had so so SO SO much fun there, many friendship had forged there, now i had friends from other states in malaysia and other countries, Aussie, Canada, India Phil and thailand. Oww, i miss them so so much. Emily, Jonrey, Toei, Tamara, Ellen, Katrina ...i just can't list down everybody here.. the list is too long. Hope that life is treating them well.
In 2 more days i will goto kl to meet bear them. It's been a while from our last gathering. Till now i still can't believe that we are actually having our own life and our own path, circle of friend, way of lifes and bla bla. Sometimes i will kind of worry for them , especially some of them who are having some relationship problems. How i wish that i could be there to maybe listen to them and slap those bastard. Hope that life treating them well too.
Once again, finger-crossed for everyone that i appreciate are in good condition may God bless them.
Well, it's December. Last year when it approached December, I was overwhelmed with joy and excitement. Joy was that my SPM was over. We had our last paper, Account on 1st of dec if i'm not mistaken. Excitement is that i was going to Japan as a exchanged student on 3rd of Dec. Now, my sis are having the same trials and problems as i faced last year, but theirs are far more exciting. they are flood to worry about. I bet this would be a very good experience for them!! I still vividly remember when i had finished my account paper and waited the time to past and my SPM was finally over. That time, i thought that this was the very last time thati will appear in this school as a student in uniform. Well, who knows here i am, once again, as a form 6 student. i've taken the path to study form 6 and till now there's no turning back and i'm certainly not regret of the choice that i've made.
Excitement. The excitement that the Japan trip was simply AWESOME. I've actually learnt a lot of things there which cannot be explain verbally. It's that my perpective had changed and I know deep down, i have changed somehow, in a better way of course. And for sure, i had so so SO SO much fun there, many friendship had forged there, now i had friends from other states in malaysia and other countries, Aussie, Canada, India Phil and thailand. Oww, i miss them so so much. Emily, Jonrey, Toei, Tamara, Ellen, Katrina ...i just can't list down everybody here.. the list is too long. Hope that life is treating them well.
In 2 more days i will goto kl to meet bear them. It's been a while from our last gathering. Till now i still can't believe that we are actually having our own life and our own path, circle of friend, way of lifes and bla bla. Sometimes i will kind of worry for them , especially some of them who are having some relationship problems. How i wish that i could be there to maybe listen to them and slap those bastard. Hope that life treating them well too.
Once again, finger-crossed for everyone that i appreciate are in good condition may God bless them.
Monday, September 28, 2009
I'm back!!
After days of consideration, finally i've chosen blogspot as my page to write my blog. Don't know why my stupid computer rejected blogspot after i've written my first blog there. So aat my wit's end, i've written blogs in my space. I've copied them in the pages as I want to save them here. Thought that i've written so many blogs in one day within a few seconds? No way!
Well, out of boredom, i've searched 4sc2 in youtube and watched all the videos about our performance in bakat chung hwa when we was in 4sc2, 2 years ago. Aww..i really miss those time man!! It's like we didn't have to study at all. We discussed, practised,( half playing and fooling around) for all the competition eg. pesta bahasa, and the lyrics competition. I still remember the time where we complained about those boy's absenties in our practised, evil bear and me laughing at those who made mistakes in our dikir practiced, just to name a few. Thanks for wei nee for uploading those videos in youtube so that the memories are always fresh in our minds. We even practised in the gotong royong day while all of us were cleaning the windows!! Oh yea, the video of the champ and gj's group sang 'bei pan' by Gary. Champ, you never listened to our advise at all. You still stubornly wanna try out your high pitch. Haiz..It reminds me of those good days when all of us enjoyed singing in our class, especially champ, jing and yan shan. Aww..miss them so much~ Do you guys still remember about the 'Spagetti' song? HAHA..
For now, i just hope that all of us can gather together at least once a year in our favourite place~KENNY!! Oh yea..and our promise-TOMATINA!! omg..now i remember that we've forgotten to send each others the red letter!! Again, i'm finger-crossed, hoping that the promise that we've made will come true...somehow in the year 2014. You know what i mean. Long live 5sc2!!
Well, out of boredom, i've searched 4sc2 in youtube and watched all the videos about our performance in bakat chung hwa when we was in 4sc2, 2 years ago. Aww..i really miss those time man!! It's like we didn't have to study at all. We discussed, practised,( half playing and fooling around) for all the competition eg. pesta bahasa, and the lyrics competition. I still remember the time where we complained about those boy's absenties in our practised, evil bear and me laughing at those who made mistakes in our dikir practiced, just to name a few. Thanks for wei nee for uploading those videos in youtube so that the memories are always fresh in our minds. We even practised in the gotong royong day while all of us were cleaning the windows!! Oh yea, the video of the champ and gj's group sang 'bei pan' by Gary. Champ, you never listened to our advise at all. You still stubornly wanna try out your high pitch. Haiz..It reminds me of those good days when all of us enjoyed singing in our class, especially champ, jing and yan shan. Aww..miss them so much~ Do you guys still remember about the 'Spagetti' song? HAHA..
For now, i just hope that all of us can gather together at least once a year in our favourite place~KENNY!! Oh yea..and our promise-TOMATINA!! omg..now i remember that we've forgotten to send each others the red letter!! Again, i'm finger-crossed, hoping that the promise that we've made will come true...somehow in the year 2014. You know what i mean. Long live 5sc2!!
23.08.2009
It was indeed a typical tiring yet happy day.
Rainbow, ping, wei chen, beh, xin jie, cheng wei and I were supposed to meet at school before we went to do our advertisement at 9.30 a.m sharp. Who knows that bulu, (sorry cheng wei) was so so late and when all of us were going to scold him, beh reminded us that we can’t do so because he was the driver and we were going to use his car.(Avanza ma..all of us can squeezed in it) Okay. Fine. Then, the two ‘gentlemen’ said that they are hungry, so all of us acc them to have breakfast. Okay. Fine. After that, the advertisement journey began.
I never thought that asking those businessmen to place their advertisement in our magazine was this HARD. All of us were walking under the tremendous hot sun and kept on asking from shop to shop. Majority of them told us that the boss is not in. Please la, we are no longer kids okay. You sit there with your leg-crossed and you told me that you’re not the boss? Some of them said not enough budget. One of them even told me to come next time. Funny, isn’t it? Anyway, we also managed to get some of the shops to sponsor us, you know, we are talented and our communication skills are just excellent. Haha..except for the two guys. Xin jie and Cheng wei went to a shop and asked for sponsor but came out in vain. After that we went in and came out with cash. Well, life is just unfair. It’s better for both of them to realize this. You can imagine their faces and expression that time. There were some times that all of us were exhausted and have zero energy to go on, however, the sheer mention of the ‘pikutong wat’ (A temple in tumpat with a funny name that we had planned to visit after finished doing our advertisement) freshen us and continued our work. Eventually, we still managed to get RM1835 if I’m not mistaken.
Next, we went to the wat. We had our lunch there as Xin jie, hau heong and cheng wei kept on assuring us to eat there. Well, the porridge and rice there are super cheep and stingy is their inhered behaviors. Besides, I was attacked by numerous dogs there!! I was horrified and they were laughing at me. Not to mention other people who were having lunch there too!! It was so embarrassing. After the terrifying lunch, we were able to snap a few pictures in the temple before it started to rain. After we prayed, we left.
At first, we were planning to go to Pantai Sri7 as it was just miles away from the temple. However, because of time-constrain, we cancelled it and went to Tesco. The scenery along the road was so beautiful as the colour contrast between the blue sky and the yellowish green paddy field was so significant. So, we decided to take a few photos there. We still able to kind of borrow a cow from a pak cik for our photo shoots. Chatting and laughers never ceased in the car along our journey.
After a short visit in the Tesco, we had our lunch in Pizza hut. Surprisingly, they had bought a lovely cake for me without my acknowledgement as a belated birthday celebration for me! It was so so sweet!! The brilliant Xin jie placed the candle horizontally around my cake and my cake became a fire ball in a sudden. Thanks for the wild idea Xin jie!!! Because of the puasa period, there merely a few customer in the pizza hut. Despite of the hunger that overwhelming them, the workers in Pizza hut were so kind that they sang the birthday song with us and helped us to clean the tables and even helped us to snap some photos. Stupid Hau Heong even bluffed me that I must licked the icing on the cake as a good start of my 18th birthday. And I was even stupid to believe him!! We had so much fun there. Thank you my friends!!!
Lastly, we went to our math tuition with a tired body and empty mind. Till now, I still couldn’t recall what was taught yesterday at the lesson.
To be honest, at first I didn’t think that my birthday could be this happy without my besties around.Although it was not my real birthday yesterday, I considered it was. To my surprise, I received a birthday card from bear and yee wen today!! Thanks to all my friends who wished me thru hp and facebook and not to forget all of you who gave me a memorable birthday yesterday. Love you guys so so much~~
Rainbow, ping, wei chen, beh, xin jie, cheng wei and I were supposed to meet at school before we went to do our advertisement at 9.30 a.m sharp. Who knows that bulu, (sorry cheng wei) was so so late and when all of us were going to scold him, beh reminded us that we can’t do so because he was the driver and we were going to use his car.(Avanza ma..all of us can squeezed in it) Okay. Fine. Then, the two ‘gentlemen’ said that they are hungry, so all of us acc them to have breakfast. Okay. Fine. After that, the advertisement journey began.
I never thought that asking those businessmen to place their advertisement in our magazine was this HARD. All of us were walking under the tremendous hot sun and kept on asking from shop to shop. Majority of them told us that the boss is not in. Please la, we are no longer kids okay. You sit there with your leg-crossed and you told me that you’re not the boss? Some of them said not enough budget. One of them even told me to come next time. Funny, isn’t it? Anyway, we also managed to get some of the shops to sponsor us, you know, we are talented and our communication skills are just excellent. Haha..except for the two guys. Xin jie and Cheng wei went to a shop and asked for sponsor but came out in vain. After that we went in and came out with cash. Well, life is just unfair. It’s better for both of them to realize this. You can imagine their faces and expression that time. There were some times that all of us were exhausted and have zero energy to go on, however, the sheer mention of the ‘pikutong wat’ (A temple in tumpat with a funny name that we had planned to visit after finished doing our advertisement) freshen us and continued our work. Eventually, we still managed to get RM1835 if I’m not mistaken.
Next, we went to the wat. We had our lunch there as Xin jie, hau heong and cheng wei kept on assuring us to eat there. Well, the porridge and rice there are super cheep and stingy is their inhered behaviors. Besides, I was attacked by numerous dogs there!! I was horrified and they were laughing at me. Not to mention other people who were having lunch there too!! It was so embarrassing. After the terrifying lunch, we were able to snap a few pictures in the temple before it started to rain. After we prayed, we left.
At first, we were planning to go to Pantai Sri7 as it was just miles away from the temple. However, because of time-constrain, we cancelled it and went to Tesco. The scenery along the road was so beautiful as the colour contrast between the blue sky and the yellowish green paddy field was so significant. So, we decided to take a few photos there. We still able to kind of borrow a cow from a pak cik for our photo shoots. Chatting and laughers never ceased in the car along our journey.
After a short visit in the Tesco, we had our lunch in Pizza hut. Surprisingly, they had bought a lovely cake for me without my acknowledgement as a belated birthday celebration for me! It was so so sweet!! The brilliant Xin jie placed the candle horizontally around my cake and my cake became a fire ball in a sudden. Thanks for the wild idea Xin jie!!! Because of the puasa period, there merely a few customer in the pizza hut. Despite of the hunger that overwhelming them, the workers in Pizza hut were so kind that they sang the birthday song with us and helped us to clean the tables and even helped us to snap some photos. Stupid Hau Heong even bluffed me that I must licked the icing on the cake as a good start of my 18th birthday. And I was even stupid to believe him!! We had so much fun there. Thank you my friends!!!
Lastly, we went to our math tuition with a tired body and empty mind. Till now, I still couldn’t recall what was taught yesterday at the lesson.
To be honest, at first I didn’t think that my birthday could be this happy without my besties around.Although it was not my real birthday yesterday, I considered it was. To my surprise, I received a birthday card from bear and yee wen today!! Thanks to all my friends who wished me thru hp and facebook and not to forget all of you who gave me a memorable birthday yesterday. Love you guys so so much~~
August 13 Human Nature
I think it's human nature that people are just not satisfy and complain non-stop about his or her life. We often think that God is not fair, how unlucky we are and the list goes on. Including me.
I still remember last year, i'm so sure that i'm not stepping into school for form 6 after i finished SPM. But who knows, here i'm, wearing the stupid uniform with my curly hair and go to school from dawn till dusk. It's super tiring that we have to stay at school for that long. Class till 2 pm is already killing me and now..*!#$%#$!@$%!! How can i excel in STPM as i completely unmoveable after 4 p.m? i still got tuition classes la tai lou!
Not to forget we still have to abide by all the pervert school rules that i had already can't stand anymore. And those teacher and prefect are really hardworking. They can't give themselves a break and carry out spotchecks on the most suitable time for our hair, nails socks and so on. It's really @#%^@#%^@$%@#$&^Y@$%^!!
When i told this to my friends who are already studying in college or having matriculation, they will assure me that actually they are just the same, the same scholling hours and so on. Some still say that i ought to appreciate time with my parents and bla bla bla. They even told me how much they wish to stay here. After seconds thoughts, i think they are right. But i still can't help myself not to complain my form 6 life and envy them who are out there. Again, it's human nature that i envy your life and you envy mine. Now, all i can do is just finger-crossed, hope that one day, i can write a blog to tell you guys that how much i love my form 6 life.
I still remember last year, i'm so sure that i'm not stepping into school for form 6 after i finished SPM. But who knows, here i'm, wearing the stupid uniform with my curly hair and go to school from dawn till dusk. It's super tiring that we have to stay at school for that long. Class till 2 pm is already killing me and now..*!#$%#$!@$%!! How can i excel in STPM as i completely unmoveable after 4 p.m? i still got tuition classes la tai lou!
Not to forget we still have to abide by all the pervert school rules that i had already can't stand anymore. And those teacher and prefect are really hardworking. They can't give themselves a break and carry out spotchecks on the most suitable time for our hair, nails socks and so on. It's really @#%^@#%^@$%@#$&^Y@$%^!!
When i told this to my friends who are already studying in college or having matriculation, they will assure me that actually they are just the same, the same scholling hours and so on. Some still say that i ought to appreciate time with my parents and bla bla bla. They even told me how much they wish to stay here. After seconds thoughts, i think they are right. But i still can't help myself not to complain my form 6 life and envy them who are out there. Again, it's human nature that i envy your life and you envy mine. Now, all i can do is just finger-crossed, hope that one day, i can write a blog to tell you guys that how much i love my form 6 life.
'ka wun'..that's how she called me.
To be honest, i consider myself to be very lucky. I never had any stroms or major hardship in my life (apart from the endless exams that streesed me like hell. However, at the begining of 2009, it came. My grandma passed away.
My grandma is nothing like an ordinary grandma. Since i was young, Jia Li and i used to goto Kertih and visited grandma and had fun with da ke, er ke and Jia Yi. Sometimes, they came to kb and visited us too. We used to wake up early in the morning and cycled, while grandma was practicing her tai-chi. I still remember how we pleaded grandma to teach us tai-chi but ended up we made fun of it. Well, we were just a kid at that time. oh yea, she enjoyed planting fruits. Till now, i still mesmerising her papaya.
However, uncle's family encountered an awful accident in 2003, if i'm not mistaken. Grandma's hand was broken and since then, she was suffering the pain as a result of the damage in her nervous system. She was crying almost every night. It was more than heart- wrenching seeing her suffering like this. I'm not pretending to be wise, but you never know how bad i wished that i'm the one who suffered the pain. After that accident, the time we had together was waning of cause, since she couldn't came to kb so frequently. I still remember the time when we talked thru phone and she told me that she told her neighbour that she was very happy to have a very good granchild in kb who cared about her and phoned her everytime. However, every conversation couldn't be very long because of the pain.
Lucky for me, grandma came to kb in 2006, when i just finished my pmr. I followed and accompanied her whenever she went, to our relative house, to meet her old friends, to the chang sheng xue. At that period, i really enjoyed spending times with her. She told me many things including her past, the awful days of the second world war, my dad's, my uncle's and my aunt's childhood, including their lovelifes! That was the time when i spent most of the time with her.
I still vividly remembered that night where dad came to me with a frantic face. He said that we had to goto kl asap coz grandma was hospitalised. When i saw her in the hospital, i was stunned. She was so so thin and had to depend on the oxygen mask. I cried. I went to the hospital everyday to take care of her. Sometimes i had to overnight in the hospital to make sure that she's okay. However, her situatuion was deteriorating and had to go for an operation where the chance was only 50-50. I was so so worried and all of us cried so badly but we had still forced ourselves to smile and said 'everything is gonna be alright' to granny so that she's not scared of the surgery. Well, luckly, she made it. After few nights in the ICU, she had moved to the normal rooms. I was very happy for the first time and started to think on the bright side. The night of 20 th May, i acompanied her overnight in the hospital. She looked into my eyes and started murmuring. I could see that she was trying very hard to tell me something.But i couldn't understand a word as it was too blurry. I kept on persuading her not to talk first and sget some rest as she was too tired and sleepy and told her to tell me in the morning. The next morning, the doctor said that grandma was getting better and we could feed her food like porridge. The nurse even taught me how to feed her milk via the tubes as she said we had to do it everyday onwards. About 12 p.m, i left the hospital and had some rest in my uncle's house. 'Jia Wen, wake up and get dressed quickly!!' er ke woke me up and shouted. I was puzzled and asked him why. Then, he delivered me the last news that i wanted to hear-my granma had passed away.
Jia Yi and I were crying sliently on the way to the hospital. When i saw my grandma, the mixed feeling was totally undescribable. She was not the same when i last seeing her. She was not answering me like she usually did when i called her. I can't continue to write and think back all the things that happened next. I missed her so so badly and i really wanted to know what she wanted to tell me that night. Anyway, i think that i'm blessed that i'm beside her on her last night in this world. Granma, i just want to say that i will miss u and love you always. I will become a person that you'll be proud of and happy for me high up from the heaven.
My grandma is nothing like an ordinary grandma. Since i was young, Jia Li and i used to goto Kertih and visited grandma and had fun with da ke, er ke and Jia Yi. Sometimes, they came to kb and visited us too. We used to wake up early in the morning and cycled, while grandma was practicing her tai-chi. I still remember how we pleaded grandma to teach us tai-chi but ended up we made fun of it. Well, we were just a kid at that time. oh yea, she enjoyed planting fruits. Till now, i still mesmerising her papaya.
However, uncle's family encountered an awful accident in 2003, if i'm not mistaken. Grandma's hand was broken and since then, she was suffering the pain as a result of the damage in her nervous system. She was crying almost every night. It was more than heart- wrenching seeing her suffering like this. I'm not pretending to be wise, but you never know how bad i wished that i'm the one who suffered the pain. After that accident, the time we had together was waning of cause, since she couldn't came to kb so frequently. I still remember the time when we talked thru phone and she told me that she told her neighbour that she was very happy to have a very good granchild in kb who cared about her and phoned her everytime. However, every conversation couldn't be very long because of the pain.
Lucky for me, grandma came to kb in 2006, when i just finished my pmr. I followed and accompanied her whenever she went, to our relative house, to meet her old friends, to the chang sheng xue. At that period, i really enjoyed spending times with her. She told me many things including her past, the awful days of the second world war, my dad's, my uncle's and my aunt's childhood, including their lovelifes! That was the time when i spent most of the time with her.
I still vividly remembered that night where dad came to me with a frantic face. He said that we had to goto kl asap coz grandma was hospitalised. When i saw her in the hospital, i was stunned. She was so so thin and had to depend on the oxygen mask. I cried. I went to the hospital everyday to take care of her. Sometimes i had to overnight in the hospital to make sure that she's okay. However, her situatuion was deteriorating and had to go for an operation where the chance was only 50-50. I was so so worried and all of us cried so badly but we had still forced ourselves to smile and said 'everything is gonna be alright' to granny so that she's not scared of the surgery. Well, luckly, she made it. After few nights in the ICU, she had moved to the normal rooms. I was very happy for the first time and started to think on the bright side. The night of 20 th May, i acompanied her overnight in the hospital. She looked into my eyes and started murmuring. I could see that she was trying very hard to tell me something.But i couldn't understand a word as it was too blurry. I kept on persuading her not to talk first and sget some rest as she was too tired and sleepy and told her to tell me in the morning. The next morning, the doctor said that grandma was getting better and we could feed her food like porridge. The nurse even taught me how to feed her milk via the tubes as she said we had to do it everyday onwards. About 12 p.m, i left the hospital and had some rest in my uncle's house. 'Jia Wen, wake up and get dressed quickly!!' er ke woke me up and shouted. I was puzzled and asked him why. Then, he delivered me the last news that i wanted to hear-my granma had passed away.
Jia Yi and I were crying sliently on the way to the hospital. When i saw my grandma, the mixed feeling was totally undescribable. She was not the same when i last seeing her. She was not answering me like she usually did when i called her. I can't continue to write and think back all the things that happened next. I missed her so so badly and i really wanted to know what she wanted to tell me that night. Anyway, i think that i'm blessed that i'm beside her on her last night in this world. Granma, i just want to say that i will miss u and love you always. I will become a person that you'll be proud of and happy for me high up from the heaven.
just thought of mine (5 aug)
it's been ages for me to write a new blog. My stupid computer rejects blogspot and i don't know why.I just need a place for me to write or voice out!!To be honest, many had changed within this year..half of this year, to be precise. I still remember how we complaint about the boring and monotonuos holiday, the period where we waited for our spm results. KB mall was as if my second house that time. oh yeah, i got my driving licence by that time too, After that, i went to national service. When i first reached there, i was filled with endless doubt and uncertainties. And i miss Elaine, Bear, Ying, Rainbow and everyone so so much. I had lots of fun there actually. I meet with some crazy people there, Bikun, Xinyi, Gim Aik, Welly, Kai jack and had an awesome time there. I miss the time where we rushed to watch our one and only entertainment, aec's 'The Golden Path', every moments when we ate, chatted and laughed together. AWWW..miss them so so much~
Okay, enough for the national service. Let's start with my form 6 life. Honestly, till now i can't believe that i'm studying form 6. At first everything was fine, till one saturrday noon, bear phoned me and told me a super bad news- she's leaving kb and going to study in mmu, malacca. You know what, i was so appalled, my mind is blanked and the next thing i know was my tears streaming down. Well, i really can't get used to life without bear. You see, bear, elaine, guo jing, ying, zuhao, all my friends are gone for good. i'm actually stuck in the same place where i used to have them around me, where we had all the happy moments. Anyway, God is quite fair to me, where i still have ping, jane and rainbow with me..haha..
Form 6 life is nothing but monotonuos and boring. i do the same thing everyday. EVERYDAY! Goto school, tuition, study. That's all. There's a time where i finally broke down wondering why i had to have such life. Anyway, life still goes on and time won't stop for me to doubt my life. Start from the beginning, i told myself that i wanna get excellent results, 4 flat if possible and get to NUS. But now, form 6 school hours end at 4 pm. Can you imagine that?? that's disasterous!! now, i just hope that i'm strong enough to live succh life...........
Okay, enough for the national service. Let's start with my form 6 life. Honestly, till now i can't believe that i'm studying form 6. At first everything was fine, till one saturrday noon, bear phoned me and told me a super bad news- she's leaving kb and going to study in mmu, malacca. You know what, i was so appalled, my mind is blanked and the next thing i know was my tears streaming down. Well, i really can't get used to life without bear. You see, bear, elaine, guo jing, ying, zuhao, all my friends are gone for good. i'm actually stuck in the same place where i used to have them around me, where we had all the happy moments. Anyway, God is quite fair to me, where i still have ping, jane and rainbow with me..haha..
Form 6 life is nothing but monotonuos and boring. i do the same thing everyday. EVERYDAY! Goto school, tuition, study. That's all. There's a time where i finally broke down wondering why i had to have such life. Anyway, life still goes on and time won't stop for me to doubt my life. Start from the beginning, i told myself that i wanna get excellent results, 4 flat if possible and get to NUS. But now, form 6 school hours end at 4 pm. Can you imagine that?? that's disasterous!! now, i just hope that i'm strong enough to live succh life...........
Friday, May 22, 2009
Just my luck
Well, this is the very first blog of mine. Actually i have the intention to start a blog, especially during my trip as a student exchange in japan. hmm, maybe i'll write one blog about my fantastic trip in Japan.
Okay, it's continue my topic today. I mean where's my luck? At this moment, i am thinking that all my lucks in my entire life had been used up. Or, do i really have any luck? Maybe i'm a 100% luck-less people. Oh, how pathetic i'm.
This morning, i checked my results for my reappeal matriculation. Again, i got the same result. 'Dukacita dimaklumkan anda tidak berjaya.' Actually i don't put high hopes in it, even if i really get it i also not sure whether i'm going for it. But still, my spm result is not that good like straight a 1, but it's not that bad at least i get straight As. i think that i had applied for about ten sholarship but all in vain. At least you give me a matriculation right? Just show me that i'm not that bad luck. Currently i'm studying in form 6. Form 6 is not that bad actually but what makes me worry is that i'm afraid that it's too tough for me and i can't cope with it. Everyone keep on assuring me with ' if you think you can, you can ' and etc but nah, deep down, i'm still worrying. I never think that choosing your own path could be this difficult. Anyway, is form 6 my choice? Not really actually. No jpa scholarship, no matriculation, what's left is form 6. College? nah. i'm still not that mature for it. Besides, other people pay rm 10000++ for A-level but i only paid rm 100 for form 6.
Till now, i am still wondering about the same moot ques. Where's my luck? I never win anything in a lucky draw, teachers hate me, i always fall down, i look terrible everyday(thanks to my hair), well, the list is endless.
Anyhow, there's still remnants of my luck. I have a 'magnum' dad, a ever-so-cute mom, (i'm kinda reluctant to include my sis but she'll freak out if i don't,so..) my cute and pretty sis. I have plenty of great friends who i truly appreciate. The best damn thing that ever happenned to me was i got the chance to goto japan for two solid weeks as a an exchange student for FREE. haha.
Still, the bad part of my life outweigh the good ones. I heard about the law of universe( i'm not sure about the name ) which states that if you think positively, you'll get the positive result. So now, i'm finger-crossed, hoping for my obsure luck will appear SOON.
Okay, it's continue my topic today. I mean where's my luck? At this moment, i am thinking that all my lucks in my entire life had been used up. Or, do i really have any luck? Maybe i'm a 100% luck-less people. Oh, how pathetic i'm.
This morning, i checked my results for my reappeal matriculation. Again, i got the same result. 'Dukacita dimaklumkan anda tidak berjaya.' Actually i don't put high hopes in it, even if i really get it i also not sure whether i'm going for it. But still, my spm result is not that good like straight a 1, but it's not that bad at least i get straight As. i think that i had applied for about ten sholarship but all in vain. At least you give me a matriculation right? Just show me that i'm not that bad luck. Currently i'm studying in form 6. Form 6 is not that bad actually but what makes me worry is that i'm afraid that it's too tough for me and i can't cope with it. Everyone keep on assuring me with ' if you think you can, you can ' and etc but nah, deep down, i'm still worrying. I never think that choosing your own path could be this difficult. Anyway, is form 6 my choice? Not really actually. No jpa scholarship, no matriculation, what's left is form 6. College? nah. i'm still not that mature for it. Besides, other people pay rm 10000++ for A-level but i only paid rm 100 for form 6.
Till now, i am still wondering about the same moot ques. Where's my luck? I never win anything in a lucky draw, teachers hate me, i always fall down, i look terrible everyday(thanks to my hair), well, the list is endless.
Anyhow, there's still remnants of my luck. I have a 'magnum' dad, a ever-so-cute mom, (i'm kinda reluctant to include my sis but she'll freak out if i don't,so..) my cute and pretty sis. I have plenty of great friends who i truly appreciate. The best damn thing that ever happenned to me was i got the chance to goto japan for two solid weeks as a an exchange student for FREE. haha.
Still, the bad part of my life outweigh the good ones. I heard about the law of universe( i'm not sure about the name ) which states that if you think positively, you'll get the positive result. So now, i'm finger-crossed, hoping for my obsure luck will appear SOON.
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